Why I don’t change

Part 6 of a longer reflection on self-reliance, inner state, and how we relate to reality.

If prediction errors matter, why do I resist them?

If prediction errors are signals for change, then one question keeps returning: why do I resist change so often? Why do I keep repeating the same patterns, even when they clearly create tension, frustration, or failure?

Defending the model is cheaper

One possible answer feels surprisingly simple: defending an existing model is often easier than updating it. Changing the way I see the world — or myself — is not a small correction. It affects an entire structure: beliefs, expectations, habits, identity. And all of this costs energy.

Stability over truth

The brain prefers stability. Even painful stability. A familiar fear can feel safer than uncertainty. A limiting belief can feel more stable than an unknown possibility.

Reinterpreting instead of changing

This helps me understand something important. Many psychological defenses may simply be strategies for avoiding prediction error. Instead of updating the model, I reinterpret reality so the model can survive.

“He always behaves like this.”
“This is just who I am.”
“I could never do that.”

The prediction stays intact.

Fear is prediction

For a long time, I used to think: “You can’t fear something you don’t know.”

Now I see it differently. Fear is not based on ignorance. Fear is based on prediction. I don’t fear emptiness itself. I fear what my mind places inside it. Possible consequences.
Imagined scenarios. Expected danger.

The brain prefers known fear

And this creates another problem. If prediction is connected to danger, changing the model becomes risky.

Because changing the model means temporary disorientation. And disorientation feels unsafe. So the brain often prefers: a familiar fear over an unfamiliar possibility.

Emotional patterns

Maybe this is why emotional patterns repeat themselves.

Tension.
Anxiety.
Guilt.

They become predictable. And because they are predictable, the brain knows how to prepare for them.

The system stays stable. Even if the experience itself is painful.

A difficult realization

This leads me to something both difficult and freeing: maybe I don’t resist change because I’m irrational. Maybe my mind is simply protecting the stability of its models.

A different approach

If this is true, then working on myself is not about fighting fear.

It’s not about forcing change.

It’s about creating conditions where updating the model feels safe enough to happen.

What comes next

And this brings me very close to emotions.

Not as enemies. Not as a weakness.

But as part of the prediction process itself.

Part 7 coming soon.

Pawel Kosinski

AI-assisted translation

---

You can find all English texts here:

English

---

If you want to explore this in your own experience, you can find a simple space for that here:

Self-work